My name is Mia and I have four dads.  My best dad is called Jonno Mofo Griffiths.  He lives with me in Newport.  He’s a rock star. 

He says I have a good imagination but mum says we talk shit.

 My worst dad is in America, his name is Mike Hall.  He’s a con man.  He sold my DS, my Bratz dolls, my Polly Pockets and my Littlest Pet Shop figures on ebay.  And he didn’t give me a cent.  He lives in a maximum security jail in Nevada.

I have a dad in Africa called Mbumbo Mumthungo.  He’s a ranger at a game reserve in Botswana.  He has a pet elephant called Bob.

 My last dad, Shwami Savati, lives in India.  He works at a call centre in Banagalore.  He rings us every night at dinner time.  It’s really annoying.

 You may ask, how is it that I have four fathers.  I don’t understand how it works, I’m only six.

 I have sixteen half sisters, and most of their names rhyme; Mary-Lou and Vindaloo, Pikachu and Coo Ca Choo.  To name but a few.

 I’ve asked my dad, Jonno Mofo, to write a song about them.  But he’s too busy.

 In case you’re wondering, one of my dads did help me write this story.  Can you guess which one?

 The End